Who decides the standard?

Somewhere in a Middle Eastern or North African country a mother is squeezing one of her daughter's feet between two wooden rods and administering pain in order to force-feed her girl child milk; A practice also known as gavage. Somewhere in Kenya a young girl is losing her clitoris because female circumcision makes her an eligible bachelorette. And somewhere in the United States, a teenager is sticking her finger down her throat to make herself vomit so she can achieve or maintain a thin waist.

Who gets to decide that the results of these painful and often unhealthy practices are desirable and why are the targets of the practices always women? I tried many different searches for customs or traditions where men underwent such practices and you guessed it; I was hard-pressed to find even one!

I live in a culture where most of the woman that grace television screens, movie screens and magazine covers don't look like me. The "average" woman is grossly under-represented, but largely pressured to meet unrealistic standards.

I choose to set the standard for me. I have some things about my body I would like to change, but it's still beautiful. I don't have to straighten my hair to fit in. I don't have to use skin lighteners to make others feel comfortable or less threatened by my strength. I don't have to wear a size 4 to be sexy. Unfortunately, it's not as easy as just saying the words when I am inundated with images quite to the contrary. Positive self-talk is a skill I will have to cultivate.

Who sets the standard for you? I hope it's you! Until then, these are just my thoughts and I'm off my soap box.

Shout out to those who promote women finding the beauty in themselves, the Dove Self-Esteem fund and makers of films such as Real Women Have Curves!

Christian Hate - An oxymoron, you would think...

It was hard for me to start writing about this particular topic, especially as my first blog. I started and stopped, erased and rewrote more than once. The story of Lance Corporal Matthew Snyders' family has really had me angry over the past couple of days and so, to release that negative energy, I decided to write about it.

For anyone who does not know what happened, check out this story: http://www.freep.com/article/20100406/OPINION05/4060317/1068/opinion/Ruling-offends-sense-of-right (copy and paste)

O.K., now that you've read it... If we all agree that God is love, where is the love in this group's actions? If Jesus was sent as the ultimate display of how love works, how is their behavior akin to the example he set?

These protesters came to this soldier's funeral and held up signs that said, Thank God for Dead Soldiers and God Hates Your Tears. They carried explicit pictures of men engaged in sexual acts. Fred Phelps, the leader of this "church", believes that the death of our soldiers is punishment, handed down from God, as a result of them fighting for a country that allows gay marriage.

Cpl. Snyder was not gay. Even if he was, would his funeral be the proper place to address your personal issues/beliefs in regards to gay marriage? If Jesus was loving, compassionate, and kind, wouldn't the "christian" response to this family's grief and pain be to comfort them and love them in their time of need? If you truly believed this soldier's death was a result of punishment, is a "christian" supposed to pour salt on a wound or are they supposed to tend to it, all the while praying that God heals it?

You can dislike someones choices, beliefs, religion, or sexual orientation, but doesn't your choice to be a "christian" require you to love? That is the greatest commandment. I don't know about anyone else, but if someone reflected love by kicking me when I'm down, I don't know how likely I would be to get up, dust myself off, and follow them or the God they serve and claim to mirror.

I hope to see the day when all "Christians" truly represent God and love. Until then, these are just my thoughts and I'm off my soap box.