Monday, April 12, 2010

Who decides the standard?

Somewhere in a Middle Eastern or North African country a mother is squeezing one of her daughter's feet between two wooden rods and administering pain in order to force-feed her girl child milk; A practice also known as gavage. Somewhere in Kenya a young girl is losing her clitoris because female circumcision makes her an eligible bachelorette. And somewhere in the United States, a teenager is sticking her finger down her throat to make herself vomit so she can achieve or maintain a thin waist.

Who gets to decide that the results of these painful and often unhealthy practices are desirable and why are the targets of the practices always women? I tried many different searches for customs or traditions where men underwent such practices and you guessed it; I was hard-pressed to find even one!

I live in a culture where most of the woman that grace television screens, movie screens and magazine covers don't look like me. The "average" woman is grossly under-represented, but largely pressured to meet unrealistic standards.

I choose to set the standard for me. I have some things about my body I would like to change, but it's still beautiful. I don't have to straighten my hair to fit in. I don't have to use skin lighteners to make others feel comfortable or less threatened by my strength. I don't have to wear a size 4 to be sexy. Unfortunately, it's not as easy as just saying the words when I am inundated with images quite to the contrary. Positive self-talk is a skill I will have to cultivate.

Who sets the standard for you? I hope it's you! Until then, these are just my thoughts and I'm off my soap box.

Shout out to those who promote women finding the beauty in themselves, the Dove Self-Esteem fund and makers of films such as Real Women Have Curves!

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