Sticks and Stones...

may break my bones, but words hurt worse and have a much longer-lasting effect. At least that's what that old nursery rhyme/adage should say. Who can not recall, with specificity, the time they were bullied mercilessly on the school bus or at the bus stop? Who doesn't remember that ugly nickname that stuck with them all the way from elementary to middle school? Mine, you may ask... Celestial Kumquat... (Yeah, made absolutely no sense back then either. Think the boy who gave it to me had a crush on me.) I can certainly remember all of the times I was the butt of the joke, but I also remember passing that same cruelty on to other children as I grew up and became more popular.

We teach our children they should not let the words of others hurt them, their pride, or their self-esteem. It's funny that we say that to them, but we still carry the hurt and shame of the hurtful, often hateful, words of others. We don't only carry it from childhood bullies, but we carry it from parents, friends, ex-lovers, teachers, boss's, etc... Those hurts saturate us to the very core and are often manifested in our behaviours, but we fail to make the connection. The connection is where the healing begins and with healing comes freedom. When you are healed, you are able to let it go, forgive and sometimes even forget.

I'm thankful for the scars left on me by others. They help make me who I am. And to borrow from a beautifully written book I recently read, scars are beautiful because they mean the person wearing them has survived. I have survived. I am also thankful that I am learning to forgive and yes, even sometimes forget! Maybe that is the greater lesson that we must strive to teach our children. The hurtful words are often not even about you; you must forgive them; it hurts, but you will survive; and you must learn that you determine you're worth, no one else has that power (unless you give it to them). Maybe it's just one of those things you don't understand until you have matured... And I'm off my soap box. Until next time...

Love,
Celestial